Fellowship | See the Purpose in Your Present Place (Stay Put) - 1 Corinthians 7:17-24 | March 10

INTRO

Hey family! How are we all doing?

Today, despite all reasonable thought, we are still in chapter seven of 1 Corinthians. It seems inconceivable. Many of you may have thought that we had finished it last week. Some of you may have hoped that I got tired of 1 Corithians and would move on to something a little more exciting by now. Alas, we are still here. We’re staying put. Why? Because there is still so much richness here.

And although we could spend several weeks on every chapter milking it for all it’s worth. Because the Bible is just so filled to overflowing with meaning and purpose. We don’t want to be in 1 Corinthians for the rest of our lives. So we really do need to move on and explore other parts of the Biblical narrative. Nevertheless, there is something Paul is saying here that I think is really important for us to hear. It’s something that we’ve seen before but we must remind ourselves of. It is the importance of staying put. And this principle is of vast importance when it comes to building intimate, life-changing relationships, i.e. fellowship. Stay put.

If you recall I read a quote from a book in the first quarter of 1 Corinthians while we were discussing what we as believers are “called to be”. I’ll read it again now. Then I’ll read this paragraph from 1 Corinthians and we can begin our discussion.

Again, this comes from Joseph Hellerman’s book, “When the Church Was a Family: Recapturing Jesus' Vision for Authentic Christian Community”. Hellerma writes, “Long-term interpersonal relationships are the crucible of genuine progress in the Christian life. People who stay also grow. People who leave do not grow. We all know people who are consumed with spiritual wanderlust. But we never get to know them very well because they cannot seem to stay put. They move along from church to church, ever searching for a congregation that will better satisfy their felt needs. Like trees repeatedly transplanted from soil to soil, these spiritual nomads fail to put down roots and seldom experience lasting and fruitful growth in their Christian lives.”

I’m willing to bet 1 Corinthians 7 was on Hellerman’s mind when we penned these words. That’s not just a wild statement. Elsewhere in this book he talks about marriage and singleness just as we have in the preceding weeks. This idea of staying put is rich with Paul’s words here. Starting in verse 17…

SCRIPTURE

“17 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches. 18 Was anyone at the time of his call already circumcised? Let him not seek to remove the marks of circumcision. Was anyone at the time of his call uncircumcised? Let him not seek circumcision. 19 For neither circumcision counts for anything nor uncircumcision, but keeping the commandments of God. 20 Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called. 21 Were you a bondservant when called? Do not be concerned about it. (But if you can gain your freedom, avail yourself of the opportunity.) 22 For he who was called in the Lord as a bondservant is a freedman of the Lord. Likewise he who was free when called is a bondservant of Christ. 23 You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men. 24 So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God.”

God has given each of you an assignment in this life. He has called you. You are not where you are at this very moment on accident. And I know some of you are in wilderness seasons that don’t feel great. Life is hard. Stay put. Endure. Thrive. Stay put. And sometimes callings change. Give thanks to the Lord that seasons usually pass. But until He lifts that cloud and calls you on. Stay put. My exhortation to you this morning is to stay put and see the potential in your present place.

See the potential in your present place.

This is not an idea that only Paul has thought about. This is a theme throughout the Bible.

PSALM 1 (BE DEEPLY ROOTED/PEOPLE ARE TREES)

Psalm 1 says, “Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; 2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on His law he meditates day and night. 3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. In all that he does, he prospers. 4 The wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. 5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; 6 for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish.”

What do you notice about this song? Come on, non-rhetorical. What do you see?

There seems to be a lot of wandering when it comes to wickedness and sin. That’s one of the lessons we can learn from Jonah. You remember the guy who got swallowed by a big fish? Sin will always take you further than you wanted to go, keep you longer than you’d like to stay, and cost you more than you were willing to pay. It may be true that not all who wander are lost, but maybe a great deal of them are. The wicked wander. What do the righteous do?

They stay put! The righteous grow roots. Blessed is the man who has planted himself in the Lord. In other words, as we saw at the very beginning, people are trees. Peoples are trees and it’s only through setting down roots that you will blossom and produce fruit. “Trees grow shade, bushes bear fruit, and vines become beautiful only after patient years of staying put. And so with us, lasting fruit usually comes from lasting presence.” Those who wander may not be lost, but they’re not producing any fruit either. People are trees and the Spirit of God is the life-giving, thirst-quenching, nourishing water. The source of longsuffering is the Spirit of Jesus.

So if that is true, then those who are planted by Him can serve fruitfully wherever they’re found. Are you dissatisfied with your job, your station, your season? It doesn’t matter, if the source of your life is Jesus. That doesn’t mean it’s not hard. It means that you don’t need to look to those things for life or satisfaction. Just because the grass looks greener doesn’t mean that when you cross the fence there won’t be some cow patties on that side as well. Learn to drink deeply from the fountain of Jesus. Psalm 87:7 “As they make music they will sing, ‘All my fountains are in you.’” All our fountains are in You, Jesus!

“One of the evidences of not drinking deeply from Jesus is the instability of constantly moving from one thing to the next, seeking to fill the void. Those who don’t have a well of living water within will seek some water without (John 4:13–14) — and when that spring dries up, on they go to the next relationship, the next job, the next hobby, the next car, the next home. But those who have drunk deeply from Jesus, those who live where they are with God, are free to stay and be satisfied.”

People are trees so be deeply rooted in the fountain of Christ!

NUMBERS 10 (PITCH YOUR TENT)

Numbers 10, “34 And the cloud of the Lord was over them by day, whenever they set out from the camp. 35 And whenever the ark set out, Moses said, ‘Arise, O Lord, and let your enemies be scattered, and let those who hate you flee before you.’ 36 And when it rested, he said, ‘Return, O Lord, to the ten thousand thousands of Israel.’”

Again, what do you notice? What is the Lord speaking to you?

Let the Lord set the path and dictate the timeline. When Israel was in the wilderness they were guided by God in a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. When the Lord stayed they stayed. When the Lord moved on they set out. Why should it be any different for us?

It wasn’t any different for Jesus. In John 5 He says, “Truly, truly, I say to you, the Son can do nothing of his own accord, but only what he sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does, that the Son does likewise.” Follow the Lord, why should it be any different for us?

It’s almost like a cosmic game of Simon Says. You remember that game? What’s the line when someone doesn’t follow correctly? “I didn’t say Simon says.” Follow the Lord and don’t assume just because it’s something that you want that’s also the Lord’s providence.

“Those who pay attention to providence will not be quick to abandon their present place, even under the sway of strong feeling.” You’ll notice this starting to sound overly formal, that’s because I’m not the originator of these words, but I don’t recall who is. “Those who pay attention to providence will not be quick to abandon their present place, even under the sway of strong feeling. They will pray to the God of providence, and seek counsel from His people—so often the agents of His providence—wary all the while of their tendency to leave the Lord’s sentry posts for a life of heedless wandering.”

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it”, as we sing in that old hymn. “Prone to leave the God I love.” We are prone to wander. It is a strong temptation, especially in difficult circumstances. As many of you know, I was in a very difficult work situation several years back. Many of you walked with me through that experience. Thankfully the Lord did call me away. It was physically, emotionally, and relationally draining. It took a toll on my health. But the reason I know it was the Lord who finally called me to take up camp and move on was providence. We prayed together for more than a year for guidance and provision. And in the end the desire of my heart was not to run from something just because it was hard. By all accounts I had the right to leave, like I said, it was not good and it was not healthy. But I endured, striving to live from the Spirit and my great need for Jesus. And eventually the cloud moved, and so did I. It was that same day I was unexpectedly offered the job I have now.

Make sure you're not moving ahead of God. For some of you, the situation you are in is because of your wandering from one thing to the next instead of pitching your tent with the Lord. And where you’re at now is worse than where you started because of your wanderlust. Pitch your tent and stay put until God lifts that cloud.

PHILIPPIANS 3 (DON’T GIVE UP)

Philippians 3, “Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 8 Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith— 10 that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and may share his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead. 12 Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”

I think by now you know where I’m going with this, what do you notice?

I know this, as is the case with the Bible overall, is a densely packed portion of Scripture that we don’t really have the time to spend chasing all the wonderful teachings God has for us. For the sake of our discussion I will settle on two things. The first is that Jesus is better. In every sorrow and every victory–Jesus is better. Jesus is better than your season of life. And if you seek Him in this season you will find a better perspective.

We just read in 1 Corinthians, “Are you a slave? Don’t worry about it—don’t let it concern you. If you were a slave when the Lord called you, you are now free in the Lord. And if you were free when the Lord called you, you are now a slave of Christ. God paid a high price for you, so don’t be enslaved by the world.”

Though you may feel that way at times, none of you is as a slave. So no matter how terrible your situation is that you would want so desperately for a change, you have not suffered until this point. Still the call is to reckon your place in Christ above your physical reality. Your spiritual call supersedes your physical existence. Isn’t that weird. We may forget this at times because the physical is all that we see. But there is a spiritual reality that is over and above what you can touch, taste, and see. You are free. That is who you are. Even if you feel like or were ever to be literally a slave. You are free. So to, with your work, with your relationships, with your health struggles, with your circumstances, with your season. The spiritual reality of Jesus is better. And that reality can begin to shift the physical. Though staying put, the spiritual affects the physical. That’s the Gospel story. The incarnation. Jesus lives within you, inhabiting your circumstances, incarnating all over your seasons. So keep going.

Keep going, press on. This is one of the most important principles of seeing the potential in your present place. Keep going. Don’t give up. Don’t lose heart. Paul writes, “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”

Press on. Keep going. God I pray right now that you would strengthen the heart of these weary travelers so that they do not lose heart and so wander restlessly, but that they would stay put and be enlivened by Your Spirit. Breathe life into these dry bones, Father. Bring strength to these tired and weary souls.

ROMANS 5 (NEVER GIVE UP HOPE)

Finally, Romans 5, “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, 4 and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, 5 and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Talk to me. What do you notice?

This is the heavy pill to swallow–right? This is some Yoda B.S. What does B.S. mean Roy? That’s right.

This is the one thing no one wants to hear while they’re suffering. There’s some good coming. God’s really going to use this in your life. You should feel so blessed to suffer for Christ.

Listen! We may know there is an end somewhere, but right now it really doesn’t feel like it. In fact, it kind of feels hopeless. And that’s the point! What!? Are you crazy? How is that the point? First, you start swearing. Now you’re talking nonsense. It’s not just me. It’s Paul. He counts all his accomplishments as less nothing–as garbage. And he rejoices in his suffering. It’s an upside down kingdom.

Hear me out! As we endure. As we persevere. As we stand up under the pressure of our trials we hope for relief. We hope for the not yet. We’ve had our fill of the already. We long for the not yet. Hope is the result of staying put. When we hope we remember that there is something to hope for. Were we never to experience difficulties in this life I dare say we would certainly lose hope. It is in difficulty that hope is strengthened. And what we hope for is such a rich blessing. Richer still than our physical reality.

There is a rich blessing of hope when we receive suffering too as God’s love. Never give up hope. Never give up hoping.

OUTRO

William Carey, as some of you may know, was a missionary to India at the end of the 18th century and many give him the honor and title of the father of modern missions. Carey once said, “If one should think it worth his while to write my life, I will give you a criterion by which you may judge of its correctness. If he gives me credit for being a plodder, he will describe me justly. Anything beyond this will be too much. I can plod. I can persevere in any definite pursuit. To this I owe everything.”

“Purpose to be a plodder. A plodder keeps moving. A plodder perseveres. A plodder presses on. A plodder knows the disappointment of unrealized ideals, feels the fear of failure and exposed deficiencies, and the ambiguity of too many demands, options, and tasks. But a plodder isn’t immobilized by them. He or she presses on in the faith that God will supply the needed strength (1 Peter 4:11), wisdom (James 1:5), and direction (Proverbs 3:6).”

See the potential in your present place. “The job you now have, as long as you are there, is God's assignment to you. God is sovereign. It is no accident that you are where you are.” Keep plodding.

Benediction: 1 Corinthians 15:58 “Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.”

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/your-job-as-ministry

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/nine-practical-pointers-for-plodders

https://www.preceptaustin.org/romans_54-5

Fellowship | Singleness - 1 Corinthians 7:6-16, 25-40 | March 3

INTRO

Hey family!

It’s so good to be with you again. Did you enjoy the last few weeks? Was there something there for you? I know we’ve been talking a lot about sex and marriage, and so if you’re single it might seem like there’s been nothing for you, or as if the last several weeks have been a huge discouragement. I hope that’s not the case. As we read the Scriptures, God is always speaking if we have the ears to hear. We don’t read the Bible and leave disappointed if it seems like it’s talking about someone else. No, we read expecting God to speak. It is His living word–personified in Jesus. He is painting a picture of Himself, teaching us who He is, giving an image to the invisible (Colossians 1:15–29). And as we learn about God we discover quite a lot about ourselves. And so I desperately hope you were found hearing because I know one thing for sure–God is speaking!

And He’s going to speak to us today as we continue in 1 Corinthians chapter 7. Only this time He’s going to address singleness. So us married folk, it’s our time to listen for what God has for us as well. Because, even though we’ve spent so many weeks on sex and marriage (it feels like forever doesn’t it) the important context for us to be grounded in is the fact that sexual expression is not required to live a joy-filled, completely satisfying, and fulfilling life. Sex is not a necessity to life. Therefore marriage is also not a necessity for life.

Don’t get me wrong, marriage is not something to be avoided and “sexual pleasure itself is not an evil, but rather a God-given good when pursued in the context of marriage. Paul underscores this by arguing that sex is a joyful and right obligation for married couples… So, sex, not celibacy, in marriage is a holy thing.”

“But lest the pendulum swing towards the extreme of marriage as the only fulfilling station for the Christian, Paul argues here in chapter 7 that there is also great joy and purpose to be found in singleness, with celibacy.”

Let’s just go ahead and read verses six to sixteen…

SCRIPTURE

“6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?”

BACKGROUND

Remember, Paul is a single man. By all historical accounts he was never married and never had sex. It should also be noted, and perhaps relevant, that we serve a God who made Himself human, in part to live and show us how to live–Jesus who also was never married and never had sex.

So it may be easy for me to stand here and say singleness is a good thing even though it’s not a path that I myself have chosen. In fact, maybe it’s your opinion that too many married people have too much to say about singleness. But, Paul is a single man speaking from His experience. Also, just as we listened to this single, celibate man instruct us about marriage, maybe there is something to be learned about singleness from those who are married.

“To be sure, not every married person knows your particular pain and circumstances, but some do. And they may have a perspective on singleness, dating, and marriage that none of your single friends have.”

But for now let’s listen to Paul speak to us as the Spirit of God inspired him to instruct and learn from his wisdom and experience. The experience of a man who’s life was full of intimacy and deep meaningful relationships even though he was never married. And where I ultimately want us to end up is that singleness is a good gift. Singleness is a good gift. If you can say that and begin to believe it then the mission is accomplished for today. Singleness is a good gift.

But first I think there are a few disclaimers. Or maybe one disclaimer and one presupposition. First the disclaimer even though technically it comes last in these verses.

DISCLAIMER: DIVORCE IS NOT AN OPTION

As we begin to talk about singleness there could be some of you who are married and have a desire to be “free”. That was an issue in the Corinthian church. There were some who for the sake of religious devotion were leaving their spouses to pursue God in singleness. And while singleness is a good gift, those who are married must stay married. Divorce is not an option. Paul writes later in the chapter, “27 Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be free…”

I’m reminded of a meme or something of that sort where someone is about to fall, get hurt, or do something truly embarrassing and the video pauses to say, “It was at that moment he realized that he messed up.” Although it doesn't say messed up, if you know what I mean. This is not one of those moments. Marriage is not a wrong to be corrected. God’s plan is for marriages to be permanent; all of me, only to you, for the rest of our lives. We just read don’t divorce her. And again Paul says don’t divorce him. Singleness at the expense of marriage is out of the question.

Now, some of you have been divorced, and you know what, that’s where you are now and there is grace here. I’m sure this is not where you imagined you would be at the beginning. When you first were married you were hoping for it to continue well also. You weren’t thinking at the beginning man have I got to fix this situation. And maybe there will come a day when we speak more directly to divorce but that’s not the purpose of our time this morning other than to say.

Marriage is not a wrong to be corrected. What marriage is… and here’s the presupposition.

PRESUPPOSITION: MARRIAGE IS THE CONCESSION NOT SINGLENESS

Marriage is the concession–not singleness. Does that make sense? Let me explain. We go through life being told and therefore believing that marriage is the pinnacle–the goal of human romantic relationship. You see, we have a romance idol in this country, but more on that later I’m sure. Find your soulmate. We believe, by default, that singleness is less desirable, that singleness is the concession. But Paul tells us it’s the other way around.

Now, marriage is an equally good gift which accommodates right human passion. God gave sexual intimacy as a good gift. In the garden He created woman, why? Because it’s not good for man to be alone. Our versions say God gave Eve to be a helper, but the actual word is so much more powerful. I love this. Eve was given as a “delivering ally”. A term only used for God other times in Scripture. God said be fruitful and multiply, but man couldn’t do that by himself. He needed a delivering ally to step into God’s blessing.

So, yes! Marriage is good in so many ways, but it is also a concession to satisfy burning passions as Paul writes in verse 9. Also note, Paul is not writing commands from God here but personal instructions about the unique purpose of singleness that is such a precious gift. So, let’s dive into what it means for singleness to be a good gift.

SINGLENESS IS GOOD

First, singleness is good. Paul writes in verse 8, “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single.” It is good to remain single. This is one of those times in Scripture where we bring too much of our cultural baggage.

Unfortunately, culture (even church culture), argues that marriage and sexual fulfillment are essential for human happiness. I mentioned before that we have a romance idol in our country.

“An idol is something we put in the place of God or prioritize over God’s priorities, often from a false promise to provide us with something only God can provide in a way different than He has ordered. We idolize when we misuse or overuse something good into being something ultimate.”

You might hear it described as taking good things and making them God things. Or perhaps even loving the gift more than the Giver. I kind of got to this point with Canaan a few months back that caused me to reflect on how God’s heart must break constantly. After a huge struggle, of all things cleaning his room and under threat of throwing his things away, I sent him to timeout in the living room while I set out to clean his room for him. And of course he’s screaming from the living room, “Don’t throw my stuff away!” Finally, I released him from timeout to a clean room. Which it took him a while to realize his stuff was still there. But after calming down in the ensuing emotions I just got to a point where I begged him to love us more than his stuff. I can just picture God in his patience and great love–longsuffering–beckoning for us to love him more than what he created.

“The idol of romance promises us love, belonging, family, pleasure, and an escape from loneliness. Disney movies and Taylor Swift songs teach our children that magically coupled love is the best thing the world has to offer.” We grow up with the expectation of a soulmate. There’s a perfect someone out there for you. Do you know the kind of pressure that puts on young men and women believing there is one person out there for them and if they blow it they’ll never be happy?

“We too easily believe the lie that life will never be as good as it could have been.” If only we found that certain special someone, life would be better. And if your happiness or such things rest on the finite limitations of another human being I would be really worried as well. But praise God it does not.

Here’s a controversial opinion, but it seems to align with what Paul is teaching here. Marriage doesn’t make life more full. Romantic relationships don’t make life better. They just make life different. Satisfaction and fulfillment can be found in both romance and singleness. Goodness is there no matter what because it depends on the one Who alone is good and not your relationship status on social media. Just mark yourself down as it’s complicated and move on.

“You don’t have to get married to be happy, but to be truly happy in marriage — and in life—marriage cannot be the ultimate source of your significance or happiness.” And that’s the achilles heel of the romance idol. You’ll be stuck searching for contentment in relationships that are ill-equipped to satisfy that longing. Because I hate to break it to you all, single or married, your spouse will not be able to satisfy that deep longing in your soul. Your spouse is good but they are definitely not God. And so if you have a romance idol, even in marriage, you’ll be endlessly disappointed in a relationship that’s not doing it for you. Because it can’t. Marriage is not designed to replace God. And that’s why not only is singleness good, but it is also a gift.

SINGLENESS IS A GIFT

If we skip down through chapter seven a bit. We’re not going to be able to dive in deep to all of these verses before we’ll need to move on to the next chapter. But starting in verse 32 Paul writes,

“32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.”

This is perhaps the key to the whole discussion–singleness is unto the Lord. That’s ultimately why it is such a good gift. This is a single man recognizing the troubles of the people around him. So, he’s not bringing a command because both are good. He’s observing. The married people around him, who provide to him such fulfilling fellowship, are themselves restricted in their time and ability. We who are married have obligations to our spouses. Ultimately, much of our time is spoken for. Those who are single have the gift of time.

Those who are single have the gift of single-mindedness. Paul tells us that those who are married have divided interests. But in singleness you are able to pursue the Lord more completely–more fully. Remember that marriage is the giving of yourself solely, completely, and permanently to your spouse. That is the same call of those who remain single. You are able to give yourself solely, completely, and eternally to God. The more you are able to do this in your singleness, the better your marriage will be should you eventually marry. Remember singleness may be only for a season or may be for a lifetime. Certainly everyone experiences singleness. The question that affects our fellowship with others is how we use our singleness whether it be for a little or a lot of time.

It is your affection and devotion for Christ that will fuel the health of your relationships. “The happier you are with God before you’re married, the happier you will be with someone else if and when you’re married.” I’m not sure where I took this from but listen, “the only people who will make you truly happy in marriage will love Jesus more than you. And the only people whom you will make truly happy in marriage are people you love less than you love Jesus.”

Pursue Jesus in your singleness. “Don’t recklessly chase marriage for things you will only fully find in God. Fullness of joy is not found at that altar, and pleasures forevermore are not lying in the marriage bed. Scripture sings about a higher love and greater joy. I’ve ended up quoting this Psalm quite a bit for some reason. Psalm 16 verse 11, “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore”.

If we knew just how happy Jesus would make us, we would stop looking so desperately for that happiness in romantic relationships. That’s a lesson we can all learn.

You remember that story in the Gospels where Jesus is teaching and His mother and brothers are trying to get to him. Jesus asked, “Who is my mother? Who are my brothers?” Then he pointed to his disciples and said, “Look, these are my mother and brothers. Anyone who does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother!” (Matthew 12:48-50). And in another place He adds to this teaching. “37 Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me” (Matthew 10:37). Whoever loves a future husband or a future wife more than Me is not worthy of Me.

Love Jesus in your singleness. That’s a lesson that for many of us it is too late to learn. Now we have to play catch up among the pull of divided interests. Do not despise your singleness. Singleness is a good gift.

OUTRO

But wait a second, I thought God said it wasn’t good for man to be alone. That is true, He did say that. But your interpretation implies loneliness is relegated to the world of the single. Paul lived a life full of meaningful, life-giving relationships. He wasn’t alone. Yes God was with Him, as He is with us all. But he also wasn’t lonely because he had such rich, non-romantic relationships. And I hate to break the news and disenchant your fairy tale world, but there are plenty of people who are married and still lonely. Loneliness is not the exclusive claim of the single.

“Singleness, even for those who long to be married and aren’t, is not a trial to be endured; it is a positive good. It is a gift to be cherished and maximized. We ought not waste our singleness by viewing it as a trial to be endured.

Singleness is not the cause of your loneliness and marriage isn’t the cure. Instead, singleness is a good gift.

James tells us that “17 Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. (James 1:17)”

Singleness is not just a good gift. It is a good gift from God for your good. I hope this message will take root in your heart. I just want to give two quick exhortations–two quick applications for where you might be this morning.

If you’re experiencing loneliness in your marriage you don’t need out. You need the Biblical counsel and fellowship of this loving family to help you reconcile and renew your wedding vows. Your family group leader is a great place to start for that.

If you are single. Do not despise your singleness. Ask God to help change your perspective. And ultimately if you ever were to get married (not that it is a necessity) you will have a much better understanding of fulfillment and expectation in marriage. Cherish the good gift of singleness God has for you now whether or not now is forever or just a season.

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/is-my-singleness-a-gift

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/you-dont-have-to-get-married-to-be-happy

https://equipyourcommunity.org/romance-idolatry/

Fellowship | Intimacy in Marriage - 1 Corinthians 7:1-5 | February 25

INTRO

Hey family! How are we all doing?

As you may remember, we are a few months into a series on the book of 1 Corinthians and a few weeks into the topic of fellowship. Though we have defined fellowship to some degree, it has occurred to me that perhaps there is more to be said on the subject, about what exactly it is and why it’s so important to the Christian life.

Fellowship is an important concept for us to understand because we are designed for intimacy. Now that might send shivers up your spine as if you were still a child on the playground fearing the worst consequences of an imminent cutie infection and wondering if you’ve still got your shots up to date. Whatever circles and dots may do to protect you from personal contact–I don’t know.

But, we are designed for intimacy. Even as I say that I am generally concerned that one of you is going to walk up and touch me at this very moment. It’s true. That wasn’t an invitation.

We were designed for intimacy in a relationship with Jesus. It was established in the Garden as God created us in His image to be like Him as He Himself exists in relationship–Father, Son, and Spirit. It’s that return to the Garden which every human longs for whether they know it or not, to walk with their creator in the cool of the day. It’s reflected in the Psalms. We hear in Psalm 27:7-9 a deep longing for spiritual intimacy with the Creator, “Hear, O Lord, when I cry aloud; be gracious to me and answer me! 8 You have said, “Seek my face.” My heart says to you, “Your face, Lord, do I seek.” 9 Hide not your face from me. Turn not your servant away in anger, O you who have been my help…”

It’s demonstrated in Jesus’ life and teaching. And it’s expressed in God’s longing for us as He makes it clear, “I will be found by you!” (Jeremiah 29:12-14); “ Draw near to Me and I will draw near to you!” (James 4:8).

We were designed for intimacy with God.

He designed us for intimacy with other people. Ugh, I know! Right?

We were designed for intimacy in the context of family. In the Garden, once again, God pronounced that it’s not good for man to be alone. We were designed for fellowship, for community, for family. And there is no place this is more true than in the family of God. Psalms 68 says, “His name is the Lord—rejoice in his presence! 5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—this is God, whose dwelling is holy. 6 God places the lonely in families;” (Psalm 68:6).

This is the family God has chosen to set us in. And I am so glad for His decision. Unfortunately for you, much like biologically, you don’t get to pick your family. So, you’re stuck with me at this point. God has set us lonely souls in this family–His family! Psalm 133 says, “How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! God designed us for fellowship, for family, and God designed families to be a source of love, support, and strength for us. We were designed for intimacy within a family.

And yes, we were designed for intimacy in marriage. If you recall, today we’re going to be talking primarily about marriage, and even more specifically about sex within the proper context of marriage. So parents you can, once again, use your own personal discretion as to whether your children should remain in here with us or find their way to the next room. Also, singles, I want to say first that next Sunday we’re going to be talking mostly about the gift of singleness. But I would also exhort you that there will be plenty for you today as well. We do not read the Bible as if only certain portions apply to us. So even if you are single you are designed for intimate fellowship with this family God has knitted you into. And apart from sex, intimacy within marriage is also very dependent upon our intimacy with our family around us outside of marriage. Because your husband, ladies, cannot satisfy every desire. He can’t be Jesus and He can’t replace the listening ear of a trusted friend. The same is true for us men. We need each other. Healthy relationships outside of marriage helps nurture and strengthen a healthy marriage.

Sex is not the deepest fulfillment of our need for intimacy. Christ has that covered. We can live a full, complete, and satisfying life without sex. And next week we’ll hear from a single guy who never had sex how marriage is not the goal of life. So more to come on that.

“Whether a healthy marriage, a true friend, or a long-standing small group, such intimacy fosters physical and emotional health, provides amazing strength and resilience for tough times, and enlivens the deepest parts of you to grow and thrive.” (Carol Peters-Tanksley)

We’re talking about much more than physical intimacy, although that’s included. We’re talking about the need to be close, to be understood, to be number one to someone, to communicate heart-to-heart, to share with, to need and be needed, to be with someone with no walls between. Fully known and fully loved.

You can’t be fully loved by others if you are not fully known. Fully known and fully loved. So, with all that in mind, let’s turn our attention to the first several verses of 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

“Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations. 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

BACKGROUND

Now, an important question, why are we talking about this again? I’m so uncomfortable.

Fair. That’s a valid point. And also, that’s part of the problem. This has become such a taboo conversation within the Church that it has become uncomfortable to speak openly about. I’m uncomfortable right now. My parents are in the room for goodness sake. Through our passivity, we’ve allowed our culture to direct and determine the narratives surrounding sex and sexual identity. And I think you’ll find those narratives haven’t changed very much in the last several thousand years.

In Corinth sex was treated as a very casual practice. It didn’t have much meaning, or depth, or carry any amount of weight. Sex was everywhere. Do what you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want. It is compared to an appetite similar to food. It’s just an appetite, a desire that we have and that we need to satisfy in whatever way we find satisfying. Do what seems good in your own eyes. At the same time sex had a sacredness to it. It was a form of worship. And they held these two tensions together of sex as casual and sex as sacred.

We see this exact same dynamic at play in the world around us. The message we hear is to satisfy your sexual desire in whatever way seems most appropriate to you. It doesn’t matter. Don’t limit your freedom. Keep it casual. It’s just sex. At the same time, almost in contradiction with the casual attitude of it doesn’t matter, what really matters is that sex be allowed with no limits. At the same time, it doesn’t matter, and yet try to stop me and all of the sudden it matters a great deal. Sex has become revered in our culture as the pinnacle of human existence while at the same time being treated as just an appetite to be fed.

I just want to reiterate, we were designed for intimacy in a relationship with Jesus. Sex is not the deepest fulfillment of that intimacy. We are more than a sexual orientation or a sexual desire. It’s not the height of who we are. In fact it’s not even necessary to life. The idea that our deepest identity is wrapped up in our sexual orientation and our sexual expressions is a bad trade for the true depth and richness of who you are. Our culture creates such a lack of value in a person when it boils them down to who you’re sleeping with and how often. You are so much more!

The Corithian church had become weary from the fight so much so that married individuals had written to Paul asking if it was appropriate to just throw in the towel and live celebite lives. To which his response is absolutely–if you’re already single. That is preferred. But–if you’re married that is a huge mistake. Huge mistake! And what follows are five verses which are about marriage and also–about how married people need to be having sex. Emphasis on need. Paul writes of it as a requirement. It’s almost as if Paul is leading a marriage retreat and his only advice to the attentive couples is “go have sex right now”. So let’s talk about why that is and if you are married what you need to be doing about it.

THE FUNCTION OF SEXUAL INTIMACY

Lest you think I’m making this up, or creating an opportunity to talk about sex out of thin air (which I definitely don’t want to do), I want you to turn your attention to verse two, “each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband.” This may seem innocent enough–it’s not. This is more akin to a euphemism to ease the readers into the subject that Paul is discussing which is pretty much exclusively married people having sex. This particular verb that we translate as “have” is used a few times throughout the Bible and it pretty much always means, “have sexual relations”.

Verse 3 only makes it worse depending on the translation you’re reading because the ESV and others say, “The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.” Conjugal rights–ugh! That just makes it sound gross. But what these introductory verses are doing is to confirm the function of sexual intimacy and why marriage is the only place for it.

We talked a little bit about this last week, but what Paul is doing is bringing us back to the Garden once again. Genesis chapter 2, which Paul quotes in the last chapter we looked at, “a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” Sexual intimacy is a reminder of the covenant vows you spoke at your wedding. It is a reminder that marriage is exclusive, permanent, and complete. That’s what marriage is or what it should be. It is complete. It is exclusive. And it is permanent. Sex is supposed to work in an environment where I give myself completely, exclusively, and permanently to my spouse. It is the fulfilling of our wedding vows and is designed to stick us to our spouse and keep sticking us to our spouse.

God wants to use sex as a reminder of the covenant vows you said to one another to be naked and unashamed. All of me only to you for the rest of my life. All of me only to you for the rest of my life. You are going to run into issues within your marriage if you hold pieces of yourself back. We are designed for intimacy, for fellowship, to be fully known. There is no place that is more true than in your marriage. All of me only to you for the rest of my life. That is the function of sex in marriage.

THE DESIGN FOR SEXUAL INTIMACY

Now, we should discuss a bit about how that is to practically work in your marriage. We’re not going to get graphic. Don’t worry. What we’re talking about is the design for sexual intimacy and how sex within marriage as a giving of yourself should be regular, consistent, and mutually beneficial as we see Paul establish in verse 4, “The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife.”

This is very similar to language Paul uses with regard to marriage throughout his letters. In Ephesians 5 he says, “21 Submit yourselves to one another because of your reverence for Christ. 22 Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands as to the Lord… 25 Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church and gave his life for it.”

I know these verses leave a bad taste in the mouth of many. But I promise you that Paul has only positive things to say about marriage so you either have to trust that the Bible is right and that despite how people have abused these passages and despite how you have read them for maybe the entirety of your life… you either have to trust that God is good and these are good words for your good and the good of your marriage–or you believe that you’re right and the Bible is wrong. Then we’ll have to have a different conversation.

Two things are worth noting. The first is that Paul begins this passage with a general call for all believers to develop an attitude of submission, a willingness to be responsive and to yield to one another out of love. So this is a laying aside of self desires, preferences, and priorities to serve others. There is a general call for all believers to have this attitude as well as a specific more intimate call within the context of marriage. And the second thing is that this specific call is directly paralleled to the relationship of Christ within the Godhead–God in relationship with Himself, and Christ in relationship with the Church. So there is a complete absence of all the baggage that people read into this verse based solely on this truth. What it is about is serving and loving your spouse. What it is about is not seeing yourself as a solitary entity that uses those around you, including your spouse, to satisfy self desire. It’s an opportunity to love and to serve and to meet the needs of your spouse. You are not your own. You are one flesh. And so your body is not yours alone but belongs to your spouse.

Paul also writes in Romans 12, “Outdo one another in showing honor. It is a mysterious dance of love in the Christian community as we lay down our rights and our demands, and seek to outdo one another not in what we can get but in what we can give. There is a holy and humble and self-sacrificing competition to make the other maximally glad.” Jenny and I have led marriage seminars in the past where we have shared this verse. And you know how people say marriage isn’t a competition? Here’s where they are wrong. Outdo one another in serving one another, laying aside yourself to fill them full. One up each other in showing love and honor.

Paul is making the claim that in marriage we are seeking mainly to please the other. A wife wants to please her husband, and so she is prone to give up what she desires. A husband wants to please his wife, and so is prone not to demand what she finds unpleasant to give. And vice versa. It’s not about what you can get, when you can get it, and how often you can get it. It’s about serving and satisfying and loving and giving yourself away. Which absolutely necessitates a conversation (conversations) about sex. You need to talk to your spouse about how often you would ideally like to have sex. You just do. And you need to schedule intimacy into your calendar if you have trouble making time for it organically. It has to be a priority for you for the sake of your spouse and your marriage.

Because, when you are married, you have a responsibility to fulfill the desires of your spouse sexually. Husbands, your wife has sexual desire and needs just like you. Don’t use sex as an opportunity for self pleasure. Satisfy each other in this regard. No one else can do that for your spouse and your spouse isn’t doing it for anyone else. That’s the marriage covenant. It’s about intimacy, trust, and vulnerability. You are entrusting your body to your spouse to serve, to love, to care for. Sex, in a marriage covenant the Bible says, should be regular, consistent, and mutually beneficial. We do not demand and we do not withhold. We submit and entrust.

THE THREATS TO SEXUAL INTIMACY

We submit and entrust because Satan will come after you and your spouse if you deprive one another of sex. Let each man have his wife and each woman have her husband. Your body is not your own but you choose to give it wholly to your spouse “so that,” Paul writes, “ so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.”

There is perhaps no more successful arrow in the spiritual quiver of our enemies than sexual expression. The Bible tells us that “The thief [the enemy] comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10). And you better believe he’s coming after your marriage. Our marriages are to be pictures of Christ and the Church. You better believe the enemy wants to distort and disrupt that picture. So if you are currently experiencing a lack of sexual intimacy within your marriage, there could be a number of reasons but the prescription is pretty much always the same. You need to talk with your spouse. If it’s been months or years since you have been together intimately with your spouse it is more than likely a symptom of a deeper trust problem that you can’t be naked and unashamed with one another. You need to talk with your spouse, then you may need to bring it before your family group and make a solid plan to move forward.

It could be that you have a lot of baggage from previous sexual experiences. Sexual sin undealt with and unconfessed has a real effect on our current intimacy. You need to talk with your spouse. You need to give yourself completely, exclusively, and permanently to your spouse. You need to live fully known so that you can be fully loved. Have a conversation.

There may be trust issues from past hurt in your marriage or from sin that is unconfessed and unconfronted. And your spouse probably doesn’t know that you have trust issues unless you share with them. They’re probably thinking the worst of themselves, that you don’t find them attractive or that it’s their fault. It could just be a lack of intentionality because of season of life with young kids or what not. It could be a lack of confidence in your ability or your own body image. Anything that leads to your inability to be naked and unashamed together. You are repainting Eden with your sex life, isn’t that weird to think about. You need to talk about sex with your spouse. Talk about intimacy. Talk about what you’re feeling. Talk about your hangups. Figure it out together and plan a way forward.

Of course, there could be a biological or physical issue that makes sex less appealing or not a pleasurable experience. We have friends who struggle with some of these issues. I’m not a doctor, but you probably need to see one. And your spouse needs to know what’s going on. Don’t hide physical issues from each other. This is that important of an issue that Paul has spent so long writing about it to the Corithians. You have to figure out together what sexual intimacy looks like for you because not having sex is not an option according to Paul. The only exception he gives is for short periods of time that you both agree on to devote yourselves to prayer. If you’re not open and honest and work together a physical issue can lead to a relational issue.

OUTRO

It should be noted that as you are having these conversations, don’t assume it’s your spouse’s fault. Come in humility confessing your sins and not naming theirs. Don’t believe it is your spouse who is the problem. That’s not the spirit of your body not being your own. Always start with you allowing your spouse to encourage and lift you up–to restore you in trust. So also, husbands and wives, don't respond with, “yep, you’re the problem”. Outdo one another in humility, love, and service. Confess and encourage. Serve and entrust.

We do not live in a culture that provides the kind of encouragement and support for life-long marriage commitment. In fact, the forces around us are constantly suggesting that we are fools to stay in a troubled relationship. You do you, is the message from our culture. Do what feels right. If he’s not satisfying your needs, find someone who will girlfriend! “The stronger our desire for some satisfaction, the more vulnerable we are to being deceived about what is right and wrong in the way we try to satisfy that desire.”

A covenant marriage where you are giving of yourself, all of me only to you for the rest of my life, is the only place that sexual expression is properly satisfied.

So, I think my application is, if you’re married, to go have sex. I guess that’s what Paul is really trying to say. At the very least start the conversation and plan and prioritize intimacy in your marriage.

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://midtowndowntown.com/sermons/acting-out-your-wedding-vows

https://www.desiringgod.org/articles/sexual-intimacy-and-the-rights-over-a-spouses-body-in-marriage

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/satan-uses-sexual-desire

https://www.drcarolministries.com/god-created-us-for-intimacy/

Fellowship | Glorify God in Your Body - 1 Corinthians 6:9-20 | February 18

INTRO

Hey family! How are we all doing?

It’s a blessing to see your beautiful, shining faces today.

We are now three weeks into a series on fellowship, how do we belong together? How do we live for Jesus as a family in a culture and world that is by and large opposed to God? How do we relate to one another as the family of God? Practical togetherness if you will.

In case you forgot or if you were not here last week, we are going to be talking a fair amount about sex today. So if you're a parent and have a little in the room that you’d prefer not to ask you a bunch of questions on the ride home, you’re more than welcome to have them join the others across the hall. If that doesn’t bother you, they are welcome to stay. It’s going to be a pretty PG-13 message, not to worry.

So today, we’re talking about sex, as I mentioned. And in the coming weeks we’ll address other topics such as marriage, calling, and others. Paul has gone from more general exhortation in the earlier chapters to now dealing with very specific concerns and threats to fellowship that are existing in the Corinthian church. It’s true, some of these concerns don’t necessarily concern us, but nevertheless there are plenty of principle takeaways for us through these chapters. And I think that you’ll find today that this topic is probably the most directly transferable to our modern context. Sex has been on the minds of humanity since before the fall. People are so often most concerned with when, how, and with whom they may have sex that it hardly ever crosses their mind to ask why and if.

I’m sure we’ve all heard the arguments, and perhaps many of us have recycled them for ourselves. Why does it matter? It’s not hurting anyone? You don’t want to get in the way of love, do you? You do you. Do what feels good. Follow your heart! Right?

And you would find good company amongst the Corinthians as well. Today, we’ll see them making some of the same arguments to justify the pursuit of their desires. But I’m not sure if being in agreement with the Corinthians is such a good place to be.

Let me give you a bit more context to the world of Corinth.

CONTEXT

Corinth had a bit of a reputation one might say. It was a port town. Corinth is actually an Isthmus where they figured out how to portage boats 3 miles across land to avoid the difficult, treacherous, and much further sale around Greece. They actually rolled boats on land for three miles. The Corinthian games were the second largest spectacle in the area next to the olympic games in Athens or the Athens games, I’m not sure if they were exactly the same thing as the olympics. So it had a huge economy of commerce, it was a melting pot of cultures from around the world, and with the games there was a fair amount of gambling I’d say.

Picture it as the Las Vegas of the old world. So sin city–yes. But in a much bigger way. It’s difficult to believe, but much more was permissible in the ancient world than even today. So Las Vegas on steroids. Not so much what happens in Corinth stays in Corinth. More like what happens in Corinth, eh–we could probably guess.

There was an expression that existed in this time and that was “playing the Corinthian”. And this was a euphemism for drunkenness and debauchery essentially. In theatrical productions there was usually at least one character who was always absolutely wasted. This character was always portrayed as a Corinthian. That’s the reputation Corinth held.

Beyond that, sexual expression was varied and vast–out of control really. As we read in these letters and we’ll talk more specifically about in a bit, the Corinthians church particularly struggled to pull away from this sexualized culture. There was a large temple to Aphrodite on the hill and every evening the temple prostitutes (both women and men) would process into town to sell themselves, their bodies. Perhaps the most akin to Corinth in the rest of the Bible would be Sodom and Gemorrah. Now, I don’t intend to get into a discussion about Sodom and Gomorrah really.

I really just want to make the point that when people are surrounded with a world of their own creation they tend to forget God and instead embrace whatever is justifiably good in their own eyes - cities are concentrations of human achievement and so they have the potential to magnify all that humanity has to offer. In some ways good, but historically speaking, usually pretty bad. And so you get this ominous statement foreshadowing the ensuing destruction in Genesis 13:12 when we read, “Abram settled in the land of Canaan, while Lot settled among the cities of the valley and moved his tent as far as Sodom.”

Abraham dwelt in the wilderness. So there's this dichotomy of cities vs wilderness, where God does most of his work through those He encounters in the wilderness. The wilderness gets a bad rap because we see it as times of struggle, but really that is where we hear God best.

But Corinth is a city. It’s a huge city in fact. And all that concentration of human achievement has removed God and exalted pleasure above all else. So, the Corinthias had some of their own guiding principles in life and that’s what we’re going to take a look at this morning as Paul writes to address and correct these untruths that had proliferated the Corinthian church and were causing a break in fellowship.

Scripture

9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.

12 “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be dominated by anything. 13 “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. 14 And God raised the Lord and will also raise us up by his power. 15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ? Shall I then take the members of Christ and make them members of a prostitute? Never! 16 Or do you not know that he who is joined to a prostitute becomes one body with her? For, as it is written, “The two will become one flesh.” 17 But he who is joined to the Lord becomes one spirit with him. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.

HEART OF THE GOSPEL

First, before we get too much further, I just want to remind you of something we talked about last week, and that is that Paul begins with the heart of the gospel. Such were some of you. He reminds us of who we were–who we once had been–to make the solid point that we are no longer those people so don’t return to that dead life.

This is the heart of biblical Christianity: “such were some of you.” The heart of Christianity is that God saves sinners through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ. God says, “I’m going to swallow up your disordered desires in something greater, and more beautiful, and more desirable, so that you can walk in a way that pleases me in your brokenness.”

“And you were dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5 even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ—by grace you have been saved— 6 and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus,” Ephesians 2:1-7.

So, that’s the foundation, the heart of Biblical Christianity that we all have a past of sin. But God intervened so that we are not slaves to those desires any longer. We have been called into freedom. That’s you. That’s me. That’s everybody. And that’s what we’re doing today. We are firmly establishing ourselves on the foundation of Christ as we speak truth into the lies that the surrounding culture would have us believe, spoken some 2,000 years ago in a way not too dissimilar to what we hear today.

ALL THINGS ARE LAWFUL (PART 1)

“All things are lawful for me!”

Let me tell you what’s happening here. Some of our English translations do a better job than others at trying to help us interpret this correctly. What follows is a series of arguments, or sayings, that the Corinthian believers would say. Some translations have them in quotes. Some may even add the words “you say”. That’s because Paul is writing an imaginary dialogue between him and the Corinthian believers. They would say “all things are lawful for me” as a way to defend their behavior. Most specifically their sexual promiscuity and adultery.

“All things are lawful for me.” “Do what feels good”, we might hear today. “Follow your heart.” “If it’s wrong then I don’t wanna be right!” Is that something people say anymore? I don’t know.

If it feels good to your body, then why deny yourself? The curse of our culture is that physical pleasures are desired more strongly than spiritual joy. We settle for the temporary and forsake the eternal. Why? Probably because with the eternal there is at least some amount of waiting that must take place and we are a people who so hate waiting. Everything we create in life is to operate more quickly with more convenience. We hate waiting. So we say follow your heart. If you desire it, chase after it.

Do you know what the Bible says about the heart?

Jeremiah says, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” (Jeremiah 17:9). Jesus adds that “from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, 22 coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. 23 All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person” (Mark 7:21-23).

Our hearts are deceptive, snakey, cheats who rob us of true joy by way of temporary pleasure. And we are utterly enslaved to them (our hearts).

Let’s have a quick word on slavery, because I think we mostly understand it to be a truly terrible thing. But that is what we settle for at the heart of the “you do you” culture. Have you encountered this phrase, “you do you”. This is probably the most egregious offense to a life surrendered to Christ that is so prolific within the church. Not outside but within the church I hear this truly horrible advice pedaled under the mask of sage wisdom. Can I ask you a question, “how has that typically worked out for you?” What’s your track record? I can tell you, given the opportunity, I’m going to choose selfishness and pleasure at the expense of others apart from the intervention of the Holy Spirit, every single time.

In Romans 6:16 Paul says, “Do you not know that if you yield yourselves to anyone as obedient slaves, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin, which leads to death, or of obedience, which leads to righteousness?” “This is the great test of whether we are enslaved or free — can we say no to the slave driver in our bodies who wants us to keep on looking and keep on lusting.”

“All things are lawful for me,” the Corinthians say.

Paul’s response, “but not all things are helpful.”

“‘All things are lawful for me,’ but I will not be dominated by anything.”

I won’t be a slave to the desires of my heart. I won’t determine good and bad–blessing and curse for myself but I will trust in the Lord.

ALL THINGS ARE LAWFUL (PART 2)

“All things are lawful for me.”

Here we have the same argument but with two responses. And there seems to be a nuance of meaning between the two. We sort of addressed the latter, first. But, if we expressed the other in our updated modern mode we might say, “I’m not hurting anyone.” “We are two consenting adults, why should it matter if we have sex before we’re married?” “My body, my choice. I’m not breaking any laws. Why shouldn't I?”

I do want to speak more directly to marriage and the purpose of sex, but I want to provide a response to this mistaken idea that casual sex or even sex outside of a covenant relationship doesn’t cost anything. It takes a while for science to catch up with the Bible, but researchers and neuroscientists are discovering the true cost of casual sex. I want to real quick read you just the description of a book called “Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children”. This is a book written by a couple of Gynecologists. I’m not sure if they are believers, but the book is scientific in nature–not religious.

It says, “Society tells us that sex is an act of self-expression, a personal choice for physical pleasure that can be summed up in the ubiquitous phrase: “hooking up". Millions of American teenagers and young adults are finding that the psychological baggage of such behavior is having a real and lasting impact on their lives. They are discovering that “hooking up” is the easy part, but “unhooking” from the bonds of a sexual relationship can have serious consequences.”

You can’t say it’s not hurting anybody because you are a body and you are causing yourself hurt. There is a cost to how we use our bodies. This goes beyond a focus on sex for sure, but this is the context of these verses. Every decision has its cost–takes its toll on our lives. “Don’t be a prude,” you may say. “It’s just sex!” There’s no such thing. It’s all of these phrases and ideologies that the world concocts to justify decisions and choices that are quite literally writing checks that your body can’t cash. More on how a covenant relationship changes that and actually provides the perfect context for sex.

But first, as I mentioned, science takes a few thousand years to catch up with the word of God. I want to bring to your attention to this, as God addresses it within the first few pages of the Bible. After the fall in Genesis chapter 3, God pronounces a curse upon the snake and on the ground. It’s interesting, God never curses man. Sure there are some consequences from their choices, but no cursing. Isn’t that strange. We usually read a curse upon man in there, but that’s not the idea that is being communicated.

What He does say to the woman is, “I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.”

Some of you might be thinking, “that sounds pretty cursey to me!” Part of that is how our translations get these verses so incorrect. Thankfully, praise God, there are only a rare few places our translators have surely missed the mark so drastically. This is one of them. Maybe even the worst of them. The main way, and what is most relevant to our discussion, is that the word where it says childbearing is not a word in Hebrew that is ever associated with pregnancy or birth. What it is most commonly used for is “conception”–or as we might contextualize for our purposes today–”sex”. Or relations as may have been said in times past. How does that make any sense?

What God is saying is, “You remember that be fruitful and multiply command? I’m not going to remove that blessing from you. You’re going to multiply. Only now, as a result of your actions to decide blessing and curse on your own terms, these relationships that will lead to your fruitfulness are going to be full of pain and hardship. You’re going to try to control your blessing with sex and with scheming in relationship and it’s going to hurt a lot of people.”

And that’s what happens for the next 50 chapters. Family after family is going to use and abuse each other to try to reach out and take hold of their own blessing rather than trusting God that there is enough. And that’s what we continue to do as we set the boundaries for sex on our own terms. We reach out to take hold of what is good in our own eyes, and we leave devastation in our wake.

FOOD FOR THE STOMACH AND THE STOMACH FOR FOOD

Yeah, but–but, it doesn’t matter what we do with our bodies. “Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food.” Our bodies are separate from our spirits and will be destroyed but our spirits will live on and they’re what really matter - we’re just bags of flesh. This is the last argument from the Corinthians which Paul addresses. In the church we encounter this argument a lot, whether it be the casual “You do you, who am I to judge,” or an overemphasis on grace and not wanting to be known for what we are against but rather what we are for, or perhaps even the shaky theology built solely around and at the expense of other truth that “God is love!” This is what our bodies were made for. Indulge. It doesn’t matter. Your spiritual life is separate. Serve God with your spirit and do what you want with your body.

I’m not sure where this came from but it summarizes excellently what I’m trying to say. Pro tip, if you’re trying to communicate something someone else has probably already said it better. “Hooking up is the ultimate descent into mechanized sex, since it attempts to turn human beings into objects. For the hook-up culture, the sex act is seen as a physical release and another form of entertainment. The very phrase “hooking up” darkly calls to mind someone connecting physical objects such as a computer and a printer. The underlying, very tragic message is that people are just bodies.”

Your body is a part of who you are.

Your body is a part of who you are. And the body is for the Lord! Your body has been given to you for one reason: to be an instrument for glorifying Christ (6:20). The way you use your body and the way you take care of your body should communicate that the glory of Christ is all-satisfying. And so too, your sexual appetite falls under this authority. “The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.”

Why does God record for us in Hebrews 12:16–17 the tragedy of Esau with these words: "Do not be . . . like Esau, who sold his birthright for a single meal. For you know that afterward, when he desired to inherit the blessing, he was rejected, for he found no chance to repent, though he sought it with tears"?

What did Paul mean when he wrote to the Philippians, "I tell you now with tears that many live as enemies of the cross, whose end is destruction and whose god is their belly" (Philippians 3:18–19)?

Going back to what we talked about earlier. This mistaken argument is going to lead you into slavery to the pleasures of your body. With every choice you are making yourself a slave either to pleasure which is fleeting and you will spend your life seeking it, or to God who is eternal and present for you always.

GLORIFY GOD IN YOUR BODIES

Here’s the big idea. And I promise we’re almost done.

“Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

Speak in such a way, and live in such a way in these bodies that others see what you do in your body — they see your good deeds — and they give glory, not to you, not to your body, but to your Father in heaven, and his Son, Jesus Christ.

The goal of this message is the fulfillment of 1 Corinthians 6:20 in your lives. "You are not your own; you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body."

MARRIAGE AND THE PURPOSE OF SEX

Now a quick word on sex and marriage. We will talk more specifically about marriage next week. And I know some of us have had great marital hurt in our past. Let’s not define truth by our past experiences. Marriage is meant for a covenant relationship where I give myself completely, exclusively, and permanently to my spouse. That’s what marriage is or what it should be. It is complete. It is exclusive. And it is permanent.

Sex is the fulfilling of our wedding vows and is designed to stick us to our spouse and keep sticking us to our spouse. Marriage is distinguished from other chosen relationships by its permanence. Marriage is a commitment made for a lifetime, till death do us part. If we throw that away on casual sex or pornography, what we are doing is training our brains to find relationships and intimacy very difficult. We train ourselves to be attracted and aroused to what is different. We see that escalating with every generation that is more sexually “unencumbered” than the last. We are losing our togetherness–our fellowship.

Sex in marriage is designed in such a way that we become more and more addicted to “the same”. And that is such a great and satisfying place to be.

John Piper said it this way, “You don’t shake hands with all the people you nod to. You don’t hug all the people you shake hands with. You don’t kiss all the people you hug. And I would argue that there is a pearl of great value, a pearl of emotional, spiritual, physical intimacy, which can only be placed in one container without being debased and ruined, and that is the strong, permanent velvet-lined case of marriage.”

You do nothing before you’re married, you get married then you do everything. That’s how the Bible defines sexual expression. Which are the actual words Paul is using in these verses–sexual expression. Sexual expression of any kind is contained within the precious vessel of marriage and it exists to draw you together completely, exclusively, and permanently or else you would live in a position of constant performance anxiety for fear that you “partner” as people are prone to say these days, leave you when you stop doing it for them.

OUTRO

“You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.”

I know it seems like a lot of what we’ve read in 1 Corinthians today could be about a lot of subjects. Why is it that we focused so heavily and almost exclusively on the topic of sex? It’s because that’s what Paul is talking about whether it is directly apparent to us at first glance.

The “you were bought at a price” language speaks to the purchasing of a sex slaves to set them free. That’s the context. For some reason, and I’m sure we can speculate as to why, we are so fixated on sex as a culture and through the ages. When, how, and with whom we have sex is one of the greatest dangers to fellowship within the church and it has caused so, so many to turn away from God to reach out and take what is good in their own eyes.

Oh, what an offensive word to our rebellious human nature. The body in which you dwell is not yours to do with simply as you please. God bought your body from the curse of sin by the payment of his own Son, and now your body exists to serve one all-encompassing purpose: “Glorify God in your body.”

As Paul said in Romans 6:12–13, “Do not let sin control the way you live; do not give in to sinful desires. 13 Do not let any part of your body become an instrument of evil to serve sin. Instead, give yourselves completely to God, for you were dead, but now you have new life. So use your whole body as an instrument to do what is right for the glory of God.”

You are invited to bring your sin to Jesus to be washed to be cleansed. You are invited to bring your sin to Jesus to be forgiven to be made righteous in God’s sight. You are invited to bring your sin to Jesus to be set apart so that you can begin to have a former way of life.

God is concerned about what you do with your bodies. He created them, he bought them, he owns them, he indwells them, and what we do with them demonstrates to the world who our Lord is.

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://midtowndowntown.com/sermons/nothing-is-physical-especially-sex

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/let-marriage-be-held-in-honor/excerpts/sexual-desires-do-not-define-you

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/i-will-not-be-enslaved-by-anything

https://mywellclinic.com/blog/2020/02/20/science-sex-marriage/

https://www.ajc.com/lifestyles/casual-sex-can-lead-the-slow-death-the-soul/ngm0QsavHnPZbaMGdSNzDL/

Hooked: New Science on How Casual Sex is Affecting Our Children, Joe S. McIlhaney, Jr., Freda McKissic Bush

Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain, William M. Struthers

The Porn Myth: Exposing the Reality Behind the Fantasy of Pornography, Matthew Fradd

Fellowship | Be Not Offended and Cause Not Offense - 1 Corinthians 6:1-11 | February 11

INTRO

Hey family! Good morning. How are we? Good? Fantastic? Hurting? Eh? You’re in the right place no matter what you’re feeling. And I’m glad you’re here.

Let’s pray.

PRAYER

Father, we come just as we are with whatever we’re feeling. We’re not going to put on a show. We’re not going to put up false fronts and hide behind masks. We come knowing that you are in control, that your plans are good, and that your timing is perfect. So we ask for your Spirit to strengthen us to be able to trust you with that which we don’t understand and the patience for you to work it in our life for good. There is a season for all things. Your word tells us just as there is a time to plant, a time to build, a time to laugh, and a time to dance; there is also a time to reap, a time to tear down, a time to mourn, and a time to weep (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8). Lord, help us trust you in your timing–in this season and whatever it holds. And please help us to walk together in unity as you guide our steps. Thank you Lord!

Amen.

BACKGROUND

Alright. So, we are continuing in our study of 1 Corinthians but as you may know, last week we shifted our focus away from what we are called to be as believers and are instead following the thread of fellowship as Paul addresses specific issues in Corinth.

What I neglected to do was to remind you of the main themes of this letter. If you’ll remember, 1 Corinthians is primarily about two things. One, this letter is about unity. God wants to knit His church together in love, bonded together in peace, united in one faith under one Lord striving in harmony with one accord. And also, this letter is about trying to live for God in a world that is overwhelmingly non-Chrisitian.

That’s why the subject of fellowship is so pertinent. Fellowship is about togetherness. It’s about facing the challenges of the world that is opposed to God and doing so side by side. As we began to see last week, one of the greatest threats to fellowship is that of compromise with the culture. And not speaking out against this compromise for the false front of not judging one another. For a good portion of the rest of 1 Corinthians, Paul is going to turn his attention away from general exhortation to peace, humility, and unity; and he’s going to turn his attention toward very specific problems within the Corinthian church. Some of these issues may apply directly to us. Some of them may more generally address our specific cultural context. Still others may seem completely irrelevant. But there is always a guiding principle at work. And it’s these guiding principles that are so important for us, for unity and fellowship–for togetherness. To live upright and holy lives together in the midst of a culture that stands in opposition to God and His people.

It turns out the Corinthians had some of their own “guiding principles” which Paul is going to confront directly in our time together next week. Starting next week, we’re going to talk about sex. So parents, if you need to plan accordingly for your little ones to join the others next door, that might be something for you to consider. That’s your PG-13 warning for next week. If you’ve ever had questions about the Bible and what it says about sex and intimacy, it should be a pretty good week for you to be here. Then following that, we’re going to talk about marriage and more. But that all starts next week.

Last week, if you’ll remember, we talked about fellowship with regard to the subject of church discipline. And one of the points that I made was how church discipline is for you and your salvation, it’s for the church to not fall to the poisonous cancer of sin, but it’s also for those outside the church, to demonstrate to the world that we in the church take sin seriously.

In other words, our fellowship is for those outside the church. Now, that may sound weird. But as we’re going to see today, when there is disfellowship within the external witness of the church–the witness without is ruined. Disfellowship within ruins the witness without. For the world is watching. The world around is watching. What are they seeing? Do these church people really believe what they say–do they really live it. And the key verse that provides the foundation for not only this week, but next week as well, is 1 Corinthians 6:11. Backing up a few verses for the sake of context it says,

WASHED, JUSTIFIED, & SANCTIFIED

“9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God?”

Already we are confronted with the reality that God takes sin seriously. I know there are many of us who are learning to rethink sin. It is so often communicated as the bad things we do. And certainly the darkest deeds done by man are listed amongst the charges of sin that stand against us. But at it’s core, sin is the heart that says no God I’m going to do it my way. I’m going to define blessing and curse for my life. I’m going to determine for myself what is good in my own eyes. I don’t need your help, God. And so, just about every good thing that becomes a God thing, that we prioritize over trusting God’s defined limits for our life also gets added to that list. Bad things, good things, and all the gray areas of life are listed amongst the charges against us when we don’t let God be God. I say this because we’re about to read a list of sins that may cause some of us to say, “yeah, those people suck”. And I don’t want you to be surprised when after this list Paul is going to say, “that’s you! You were those people!”

“Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Such were some of you. He’s not saying such are some of you. He’s not disparaging them so as to heap on guilt and shame. He’s reminding them of the secure identity to which they belong. And I too stand here among you as a “such were” and not a “still am”. I wonder, would any of you be brave enough to stand up with me as a “such were”?

Thank you!

This is not an exhaustive list by any means but it serves the purposes of making a point–to remind us that we are all “such weres”. The Corinthians had forgotten that. They lived as spiritual giants in their own eyes. Their amnesia to what they were saved from led to dispute and division, not fellowship and union.

Thank you!

We’re not standing up confessing sin. I don’t know, maybe that’s what you’re doing. That’s not my intention. We are admitting to a past–a past that no longer holds us! We are living in a present identity that is far better. An identity of grace in Jesus unto salvation.

Sincerely, thank you! You can take your seat again.

Salvation is one of those Christian words that get thrown around quite often. It may be the case that you’ve wondered what salvation means but have been too afraid to ask. I assure you, had you asked, more people than would like to admit could not put it into words for you. But God does explain it and so we’re about to get an explanation of salvation.

“Such were some of you [and you, and you, and me]. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

The Bible says that we were [emphasis on were] utterly dead in trespasses and sins (Ephesians 2:1), having no hope (Ephesians 2:12), and otherwise ultimately destined for wrath (1 Thessalonians 5:9). Then when you believed in Christ Jesus you were saved from this destiny, this kingdom of your own making–this kingdom of darkness. You received salvation. You were washed. You were sanctified. You were justified. That’s what salvation means.

YOU WERE WASHED

You were washed. Your sins, considered as filth, have been washed away; considered as pollution, they have been purified; considered as guilt, they have been covered with the righteousness of Christ (Romans 1:17). Washed is a picture of forgiveness as your sinful past has been thoroughly washed away in a flood of love and grace. You were washed.

YOU WERE SANCTIFIED

You were sanctified. You have been set apart from the world and its ways so that you might live for what is Holy. You have been consecrated or dedicated with new life, new goals, and new purpose; set apart for special service to God. You were sanctified.

YOU WERE JUSTIFIED

You were justified. You were declared righteous, placed into a new right standing before God, in which you are now and forever clothed in the righteousness of Christ (1 Corinthians 1:30). You were justified.

Each of these; were washed, were sanctified, were justified; refer to the same thing. The one stressing your complete cleansing, the next your new holy calling, and the final one your new right standing before a Holy God. That is salvation.

”We ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us richly through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that being justified by his grace we might become heirs according to the hope of eternal life” (Titus 3:3-7)

This is so important to remember. We have to start from our position within Christ because what Paul suggests before these verses is going to seem like complete madness to some of you. Because some of you have genuinely been hurt by other people. But our call to fellowship is going to require letting go of your hurt. Fellowship demands forgiveness. Fellowship requires resolving conflict in a healthy manner. Fellowship requires giving others the benefit of the doubt. Fellowship demands that you live as though you have been washed, sanctified, and justified; and that the person sitting next to you has too.

We should live as those who have been redeemed, with our past put behind us. And that’s going to be difficult at times, but it’s the same truth Jesus calls us to in Luke 7 when He’s eating in the home of Simon the Pharisee when a sinful woman bursts in and washes Jesus’ feet with her tears. Jesus tells the parable of two men whose debts had been forgiven, one much larger than the other. Jesus asks who loved more as a result of the abolition of these debts. The answer, of course, being the one who has been forgiven more.

“44 Then [Jesus] turned to the woman and said to Simon, ‘Look at this woman kneeling here. When I entered your home, you didn’t offer me water to wash the dust from my feet, but she has washed them with her tears and wiped them with her hair. 45 You didn’t greet me with a kiss, but from the time I first came in, she has not stopped kissing my feet. 46 You neglected the courtesy of olive oil to anoint my head, but she has anointed my feet with rare perfume. 47 I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.’”

I love this passage of Scripture. “Look at her!” Jesus says. He forces us to look at our offenders as actual people created in the image of God and imbued with such infinite worth and value. I’m getting a bit ahead of myself. Here’s your homework, read Luke 7 and think about the teaching God has for us today. The point to be made and the reality of the situation with regard to the Corinthians and to us as well, is that we have all been forgiven much, so why do we love our brothers and sisters in Christ so very little? That’s Paul’s message and the foundation of chapter six’s beginning. So, let’s back up and start from the top.

SCRIPTURE

“When one of you has a grievance against another, does he dare go to law before the unrighteous instead of the saints? 2 Or do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if the world is to be judged by you, are you incompetent to try trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we are to judge angels? How much more, then, matters pertaining to this life! 4 So if you have such cases, why do you lay them before those who have no standing in the church? 5 I say this to your shame. Can it be that there is no one among you wise enough to settle a dispute between the brothers, 6 but brother goes to law against brother, and that before unbelievers? 7 To have lawsuits at all with one another is already a defeat for you. Why not rather suffer wrong? Why not rather be defrauded? 8 But you yourselves wrong and defraud—even your own brothers!”

Let’s face it, conflict is going to happen within the body. We are a family. If you spend enough time with your family eventually you're going to end up frustrated and in disagreement. How we fight with each other demonstrates to the world the proof of our fellowship. Are we fighting fair?

SINNERS GONNA SIN

Notice, Paul says when one of you has a grievance against another. When–not if.

Sinners gonna sin.

And although we are called to be saints and praise God, that is what we are. We still sin. We are sinners saved by grace and sinners gonna sin. Not that we set out on that course–to transgress. It’s just a reality of pre-resurrection life.

Ecclesiastes 7:20 says, “Surely there is not a righteous man on earth who does good and never sins.”

We should not be surprised by sin, even amongst our brothers and sisters. It may be unexpected in the moment, but sin is a guarantee. As much as we fight it, occasionally some vestige of our old self is going to bubble to the surface. Don’t be jaded. That’s not what I’m saying. “Disappointed once again! Woe is me!” No, that’s not right. Just be aware of reality. You’re going to feel wronged at some point in your life. Probably multiple times.

Also, notice Paul is talking about trivial cases as well. If there’s some serious, illegal activity going on we’re going to get the police involved. That’s just the way it is.

Most of the time the wrong you will feel is not really that big of a deal. So, a lot of the time, most of the time, we’re going to forgive and move on. We’re just not going to engage and make a deal over the vast majority of wrongs.

Proverbs 19:11 says, “Sensible people control their temper; they earn respect by overlooking wrongs.”

Sure, it may feel like a big deal. I want to acknowledge what you are feeling for sure. But I also want to advise you that walking in the spirit of maturity involves a lot of quick forgiveness.

PEOPLE OF OFFENSE

Overall, we’re seeking to not be people of offense. Yes, seek to not offend, and also seek to not be offended. Eventually, when we get to chapter 13, we’re going to read a list of what love does. And among that list we’ll see that love is not easily angered, provoked, or offended. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not insist on its own way–it’s not self-seeking. But “love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

Here’s what that love list is hinting at a bit, love gives the benefit of the doubt. In other words, just because you were hurt by someone doesn’t mean they actually did something wrong. The wrong you feel might simply be a misunderstanding. And though what you’re feeling is real, it might not be a reflection of what actually happened and certainly not what the other person intended. Life is more complicated than that. And our perceptions of a situation aren’t always based in reality.

Now all of this has been more passive. Your response when a wrong is felt. But what can we actively do to cultivate within ourselves a lack of offense?

Invite and welcome correction.

Hebrews 12:5-6 says, “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.”

Discipline and correction unto the Lord is good, and so invite people in to speak truth, expose blindspots, and process hurt with you. They’re going to be able to see things you can’t and offer sound wisdom from God.

FORGIVE

Finally, as I said earlier, be quick to forgive and keep forgiving.

Colossians 3:13 says, “If one has a complaint against another, [forgive] each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.”

It goes back to that foundational element. You have been forgiven much! Therefore, love in equal measure.

WHY NOT SUFFER WRONG?

And that’s why Paul can make such a strong statement to people who have suffered real hurt–real wrong against them.

“Why not rather suffer wrong?”

A Christian should voluntarily take wrong, even if he or she be in the right. What kind of crazy talk is this?

Canaan and Ada will often get into heated debate as siblings are apt to do. Each one justified in their shouting by some perceived wrong that has occurred. And at their age it is the end of the world as you might imagine. As the older sibling, I have instructed Canaan on many occasions–it’s okay to not win even if you’re right. It’s okay to not win. Sometimes when you win an argument, what you are losing is far worse.

Proverbs 17:14 says, “to start a conflict is to release a flood; stop the dispute before it breaks out.”

Most disputes are trivial with regard to the eternal kingdom and so be a person who is not offended and does not cause offense.

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://www.preceptaustin.org/1-corinthians-6-commentary

https://midtowndowntown.com/sermons/death-by-drama

Fellowship | Church Discipline - 1 Corinthians 5 | February 4

INTRO

Hey Family.

Glad to be with you all again. We are starting a new series in 1 Corinthians. What!? How can that be? You ask. Didn’t we just finish a series in 1 Corinthians? Why, yes we did. And we only got to the end of chapter 4. There are still 12 more chapters left. And you know what? We’re probably not going to get to the end of the book in this series either.

In the first series, we examined who we are called to be in light of the Gospel and a life lived for Christ Jesus. Does anybody remember what some of those callings are? Who are we called to be? (Saints, Together, Foolish, Dependent, Extra Ordinary, Faithful, Secure, and Different). And these are all powerful identities that we are called to. That’s what they are, identities. None of that stuff we tend to build our life upon matters much at all. But when we build our life upon the firm foundation of Jesus, this is who we are. This is who you are. You are saints. Can you believe that? You are Dependent on God and Secure in Him. Can you believe that? You are Extra Ordinary. And yes, you are Foolish and Different. But at least we’re different Together.

This calling will continue to be important as we enter our new series looking at the concept of Fellowship. Fellowship is essentially the “oneness that Disciples of Christ experience in true [relationship], oneness with one another, with Christ and with the Father. Just as the Father is in Jesus, so is Jesus in us, and we have unity with one another because of the uniqueness of that relationship” (John 17:23, 1 John 1:3).

Christian fellowship is more than a mutually beneficial relationship. It’s more than companionship. Some people have traded the term and substituted it for the more disciple-focused adaptation–“followship”. But that’s something different. You see there is a depth to fellowship that I don’t want us to miss out on. It’s a much deeper commitment than a friendship or shared interest. If I were to offer any change to the word to make it more meaningful in our modern era the closest thing I can come up with is family-ship. There is a real and true family-ship to Chrisitan fellowship.

There is also an order and ideal for this fellowship to truly exist. John 17 speaks of unity and oneness (as we should know by now so does 1 Corinthians). Acts 2 speaks of holding all things in common. Fellowship goes beyond family-ship into a one-bodiedness. There’s a narrative circulating our culture surrounding identity and preferred pronouns as I’m sure you are all well aware. If I could hijack this narrative for just a moment, I would use it to argue that as a Christian I am a we/our. I am a you/your. Hear me out. I know it’s a bit tongue and cheek. There is a togetherness that exists in Christian fellowship where our lives are inextricably woven together under the headship of Christ.

And so, as a result, there are also all these things that can interrupt and ultimately destroy fellowship. This is the context of the next several chapters of 1 Corinthians. There are some serious things destroying the fellowship of the Church in Corinth. And we must be on our guard as well so that we do not fall victim to a false fellowship and so destroy the calling of the Church.

I encountered this paragraph about the calling of the Church in a sermon from a church Jenny and I were members of.

“The call of the church is that we would help people meet Jesus and that we would help people be shaped into the image of Christ. To model with our culture, with our teaching, with our words, and actions this is what it looks like to follow Jesus. This is how we handle money. This is how we handle relationships. This is how we handle sex. This is how we handle conflict. To model and implement and teach those things. And when someone rebels against that Jesus says that we are to engage…” We are to press in and pursue. We are to press in and confront. We are not to ignore a break in fellowship because it is a poison that spreads throughout the body.

This concept of Church Discipline is a difficult topic. Let’s just get into the Scripture for this morning. 1 Corinthians chapter 5…

SCRIPTURE

1 “It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

6 Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.

9 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— 10 not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world. 11 But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one. 12 For what have I to do with judging outsiders? Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? 13 God judges those outside. “Purge the evil person from among you.”

BACKGROUND

These are some strong words and this is a bit of a tough topic so I want to make sure we have a little more context to what’s going on than we might usually spend during this time on a Sunday morning. There is a man within the congregation of Corinth that is carrying on a sexual relationship with either his own mother or his step-mother. A majority of scholars tend to interpret this as his step-mother because of the phrase “a man has his father's wife”. Perhaps his mother had passed, the father was remarried and now the father too has died. This speculation really doesn’t matter all that much. What matters is that it is an ongoing relationship. It’s not a single occurrence in which sorrow and repentance has taken place. It is sinful. It is so bad to the extent that even the pagans in all of their hedonistic, debauched ways had laws against incest. So bad that Paul says things like “you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh” and “purge the evil person from among you”.

Isn’t all sin equally bad? You may ask. Yes. For sure. Paul even writes in verse 11, “I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.” Sin is serious and should be taken seriously within the church.

Ok, but doesn’t the Bible say not to judge? Well, sort of yes and sort of no. Certainly there are verses that have been taken out of context and used to shame others and put on an air of humility and false pretense to justify unrepentant sin. The Bible warns against judging people in an incorrect way and out of a judgmental heart. Matthew 7 comes to mind. It flat out says “Judge not, that you be not judged.” Right? How could it be any more clear? But then the rest of the verses speak as though judgment is expected to take place but in a healthy life-giving manner, “how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? …first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye.” It’s not comfortable to have a speck in your eye and in the context of brotherhood it is life-giving for us to help each other remove those harmful specks as long as it’s done rightly. That’s what Paul says as well. “Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside.” In the next chapter he even writes, “Do you not know that we will judge angels?” (1 Corinthians 6:3). But now we’re getting ahead of ourselves. “Is it not those inside the church whom you are to judge? God judges those outside.”

So, what about outside the Church? That’s a fair question. Verse 9 says, “...not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the sexually immoral of this world, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters, since then you would need to go out of the world.” We are not to judge those whom we should have no expectation to live lives of holiness unto the Lord. We can’t hope to regulate morality of those in the world who have no inclination to live in relationship and in line with the Spirit. And we can’t disassociate with them since then we would have no ability to continue the mission of Christ to seek and save the lost. But there is an expectation for those within the church who are growing in maturity to fight the desires of their heart–of their flesh and seek to live lives wholly pleasing to the Lord. Living sacrifices of a sweet and pleasant aroma to God.

What if I sin? I think you mean not what if but what happens when I sin. What we’re not talking about is a believer who at times loses the fight. We are all sinners saved by grace. We are all going to sin. What is in view is unrepentant and persistent sin. This is an unrepentant sin that says, “no I’m still going to do this. I’m not going to stop. I want to do this.” And so it is not about people who simply sin. We all sin. If you are fighting that sin, though you may still lose from time to time, daily if we’re honest, it’s not talking about that.

Perhaps the biggest question yet to be answered is why is sexual sin so called out? It seems like the Bible has a lot to say about how we should and perhaps more accurately how we should not use our bodies in relationships with others. We’re going to see more of this in the chapters to come so there will be more to be said. But I want you to consider this at this moment in time, we so easily justify sexual sin for the sake of pleasure or desire. It seems good in my eyes and it’s not hurting anyone. It’s the original sin at the fall in the Garden. It seems good in my eyes and desirable, so I’m going to take it and enjoy it. But the challenge is to trust God’s definition of blessing and curse rather than our own. Sex is a good thing. So it’s not inherently sinful, but when we don’t trust God’s limitations on sex we are sinning in our pride to insist that we know better. I want you to understand that good things can be sinful. In fact, the categories of good and bad are all but meaningless with regard to sin. Sin is not the bad things we do. Sex is not a bad thing but it becomes sinful when we insist that we take this good thing on our own terms.

The truth is sexual ethics are not only about individual choice and consent. They actually have full community impact whether done privately or not. Your sex life affects the health of this community. It affects our fellowship. Isn’t that weird.

I also don’t want to focus on sins that are not apparent or affecting this congregation. I’d much rather you not check out because incest is not an issue in your life and instead be challenged by the teaching of God’s word for us who are here today. The same could be said about any number of sins that you don’t struggle with. In other words let’s focus our attention away from the accusatory they and them and their sins or even the more passive we and our and let’s get real about the I struggles. What sins are you dealing with at this season in life? Are there any that are unrepentant? Are there any that you’re like, you know what, I’m going to keep doing this. I’m not going to let God change me. Paul says “to deliver such people to Satan for the destruction of the flesh…” The euphemism we use for this is church discipline. Delivering over to Satan seems too harsh, so we try to soften it–church discipline. There are some of us who probably don’t even like those words.

But that’s what I want us to focus on. Is that, though it is difficult and uncomfortable, church discipline as a practice is a good thing. It is good for you. It is good for the Church. It is good for the world. And I want us to hold that tension and embrace what’s difficult because it is good.

Here’s why, “the goal of discipline is always redemption (1Cor. 5:4), protecting other sheep (v. 6), and honoring the name of Christ (v. 1).”

IT’S FOR YOU

Church discipline is good for you, if and when you require discipline.

Verse 4, “When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh,”

And here’s the important part, “so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” The goal of discipline is always redemption. We are jumping ahead quite a lot. It’s not 0 to Satan. We are arriving at a bit of a last resort situation here. Handing over to Satan is absolutely not the first step in church discipline.

Jesus teaches in Matthew 18, “15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.”

So the progress is a bit more gradual than we might observe from 1 Corinthians. We are witnessing more of a coming to a head moment where other measures had been spurned by the offending party. Jesus says start with a one on one conversation. If that doesn’t work, bring some others with you. If that doesn’t work, bring it before the church as a whole. And if they refuse to listen, if they are intent to continue in their pursuits away from God, then hand them over to Satan.

“Turning a believer over to Satan thrusts the believer back into the world on his own, apart from the care and support of Christian fellowship. That person has forfeited his right to participation in the church of Jesus Christ, which He intends to keep pure at all costs.”

IT’S FOR THE CHURCH

For that reason church discipline is not only for you, it is also for the Church.

Verse 6, “Your boasting is not good. Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. 8 Let us therefore celebrate the festival, not with the old leaven, the leaven of malice and evil, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.”

Sin, unconfronted, is a cancer that will destroy the Church from the inside out. Pride destroys fellowship. Church discipline is for the sake of fellowship. And it is indeed pride that we are confronting. Pride that tells God how to be gracious instead of the humility which “listens and tries to obey with fear and trembling.”

Pride is Paul’s accusation, not against the man living in sin, but against the church. “you are arrogant!” He says, “Ought you not rather to mourn?” It’s the pride of the church destroying fellowship by leaving sin unconfronted.

I read this observation regarding these verse, “Today when discipline doesn't happen the diagnosis is often that we are too humble to discipline a person: Who are we to point our finger? Who are we to judge? Who are we to cast the first stone? And so a supposed humility is made the basis of tolerance of unrepentant immorality in the church… It's a theology that misunderstands the power of grace, and turns it into license. It's a theology that misunderstands freedom and uses it as "an opportunity for the flesh… In your supposed knowledge of grace and freedom you are destroying the church." They would have never dreamed that by boasting in grace and freedom they were corrupting and destroying the church from the inside out."

“True Biblical brokenness does not say, "I could never judge a brother like that." True Biblical brokenness submits to the painful, risky, time-consuming, often oppressive process of church discipline.” It is difficult, but it is worth it and it is at times necessary for reconciliation, for the integrity of the Church, and for the world.

IT’S FOR THE WORLD

Ok, I get how church discipline promotes fellowship by seeking salvation and reconciliation for the believer and how it builds up the church and removes the leaven from the lump of the Church, as it were. But how can church discipline be good for the world? After all verse 12 says, “For what have I to do with judging outsiders?”

It’s clearly not about those outside the Church, right? Isn’t it though?

Though we are not to judge the world, the world observes and critiques how seriously we take sin and judges us for it, not because we judge them too harshly but because we do not judge ourselves harshly enough. The amount of sin and abuse that occurs within the church and is swept under the rug is deplorable in the eyes of the world. It is a misunderstanding of the work of grace and even the world can see it.

There are churches that are so wrapped up in this misunderstanding that they will say they don’t want to become known for what they are against but what they are for. Listen, I understand that desire for those outside the church, but when we don’t speak out against sins among ourselves, then we are abusing grace and destroying the Church. The world is watching and waiting to see if we truly believe what we say, what this book says, what God says. And being a hypocrite is a lot easier than the messiness of accountability and discipline, but it stinks and is offensive to God and the world as well. It may be the one thing the world has correct in its estimation of the Church. I don’t have to agree with you, but at least agree with yourselves and the God you supposedly serve.

Church discipline is for the world which is in such need of the intimate fellowship believers are supposed to have. The intimacy and fellowship I long for us to continue to grow in.

OUTRO

Listen, I wish I could say that I hope we never have to perform church discipline but we’re probably going to have to. I’m not so naive to believe we’ll be able to avoid it. So my prayer is that we’ll discipline well in love and humility and broken hearts that cry out to God for the redemption of that person.

The honest truth is that most people living in unrepentant sin are going to get offended, leave, and go to another church where they don’t have to be uncomfortable, they don’t have to mature, and they aren’t expected to change and grow in holiness. I have that expectation for myself. And I have that expectation for you. Desire holiness.

And please, please, please do not leave because you are offended. Please, please, please, stay and grow. The early church didn’t have a choice. They couldn’t church shop until they were comfortable and unconfronted.

At the very least, leave because I’ve offended you and not because the Bible makes you uncomfortable. Even then, even if I have offended you, stay and call me out on it so that I may grow too. Do not deny me the opportunity for growth because it’s too uncomfortable. It will be difficult but I will love you for it in the end.

I want to leave you with one final thought from the same sermon I mentioned at the beginning.

“Friends are people who are going to say the hard things to you whether you’re going to want to hear it or not. A friend will be there for you when the bottom drops out on your life. A fan will not. A fans relationship is built on you keeping your distance and not bothering one another. A friend will be there when the bottom drops out… if you have people who love you enough to be honest with you don’t push that away.”

I love you guys!

Resources (*the views expressed within the following content are solely the author's and may not necessarily reflect the opinions and beliefs of Mountainside Church):

https://midtowndowntown.com/sermons/covenant-breaking

https://www.gotquestions.org/Christian-fellowship.html

https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/essay/church-discipline/

https://www.desiringgod.org/messages/how-satan-saves-the-soul

https://www.gty.org/library/bibleqnas-library/QA0140/what-does-it-mean-to-be-handed-over-to-satan